Who You Are Without Your Story of Limitation on The Sheri and Erin Show

In this show we talked about the difference between “wanting” to be something versus knowing who you already are. If you are perseverant and focused on your strengths, you can access your best qualities all the time.

It requires practice to become your best self. You can have greatness within you but it won’t be realized unless you work with it. Just like you have to work your body to see changes in your muscles, you have to spend time honing your own qualities. You have to fine tune your instruments which are your mind, body and soul. One of the first steps to becoming strong is to attain inner peace. From a place of inner peace it will seem as though there are no obstacles, fear will disappear and action steps will become clear.

The question is, how can one maintain inner strength and conviction even when difficult life events and feelings come up? And, why do we sometimes keep thinking negative and worrying even though we know it’s self-destructive?

One reason is because much of our self-defeating talk started before we reached the age of 5. Prior to the age of 5 our brain is so receptive that it will assimilate any information it receives. After the age of 5, we repeat the same patterns we learned in infancy. Not only that, for our entire youth and even adulthood, we model the world based on what we learned at home. Sometimes what we modeled was downright insane yet most of us didn’t even know what we were doing or how destructive it was to us and those around us.

Spiritual growth/development takes work just like maintaining your house or your car or your body. If you neglect your mind, your emotions and your spiritual self, you will get the results that occur with all things that are neglected: deterioration, root rot, overgrowth, etc. Generally, most things that are neglected go wild, stagnate, decay and eventually die. If you want your mind to be healthy, you need to keep it filled with fresh ideas and you need to get rid of what’s not productive.

Another way we can abuse our minds is by “beating ourselves up.” Remember, you can’t grow something and chop it down at the same time. An important step in breaking free from beating yourself up is self-forgiveness and letting go.

Just because you let go doesn’t mean you deny your life history, instead, you focus on facts versus your story of limitation. For example, I could say I ran away from home, that is a fact. The story that hurt me was telling myself over and over again that I was “no good” and that the world could not be trusted. Know the difference between the facts and the story you made up about yourself. Drop any stories that are keeping you small because you could be beating yourself up with your own story even when you could be using that same story to lift yourself up. Don’t get addicted to your story, it can keep you strung out and stuck for decades. Decide instead what you want the story to be and take steps to make it happen.

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If you relate to the concepts presented in the show or want to explore them further, join us on Wednesday’s at 1:00 PST/4:00 EST on the iMasteryRadio channel on Blog Talk Radio our guest call-in number is: (347) 857-4645.

To be galvanized is to be free from fear, strengthened by Life, bold enough to be whole and to have fun doing It.

Illness is a Healing Opportunity on The Sheri and Erin Show

On this episode of The Sheri and Erin Show we explore the possibility that illness might actually be an opportunity to heal old beliefs and attitudes.

As a part of the healing process, attitudes and beliefs are updated and sometimes it becomes necessary for the body to update itself accordingly by releasing toxins or letting go of disease.

We explore beliefs and attitudes like unworthiness and “beating yourself up” as well as attitudes such as grandiosity and self-pride and how the two are simply a different manifestation of the same root problem: fear or lack of love for self.

This episode uses stories and analogies to help listeners let go of limitation and achieve “ah-ha” moments.

We read a passage from A Course in Miracles on page 544 under the heading “Many Forms, One Correction” that said “The aspects that need solving do not change, whatever form the problem seems to take” and discussed what that means in our personal life.

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Listen to internet radio with IMASTERY Radio on Blog Talk Radio

To be galvanized is to be free from fear, strengthened by Life, bold enough to be whole and to have fun doing It.

What Does Elvis Presley Mean?

Elvis Presely playing guitarMost Americans and music lovers worldwide acknowledge Elvis Presley as “The King” of rock and roll. But some people have no idea who Elvis Presley is or what it means to be “The King” to millions of loyal fans.

This is what I learned from Cindy, the foreign exchange student from China that I hung out with for a few weeks.

I was taking a class on multi-cultural competency as part of the process towards my master’s degree in counseling. Our instructor, Vince Noble asked for volunteers to escort foreign exchange students and ease their transition into the USA. He may have even offered extra credit, I can’t remember. But I volunteered and was paired up with Cindy from China.

One day, Cindy and I went an art show at Cal State Long Beach. There were many paintings and several rooms filled with original art pieces created by students. We came upon a portrait of Elvis Presley. I admired the creativity of the piece. Cindy pointed at it and asked, “who is that?”

I was stunned. It was as if my life was flashing before me. I could not imagine how to describe who Elvis was. He is so many things to so many people and I couldn’t imagine what the world, or at least my world, would be like without him.

I managed to mumble out some answer about how Elvis was a rock legend and I hummed a few bars of Blue Suede Shoes and Jailhouse Rock to see if it would ring a bell.

Nothing.

I was speechless.

I had been slapped aside the head once again and reminded that just because I have an experience or a social construct built up around a certain object or person, doesn’t mean everyone else does. Have you ever found yourself in a situation like this, assuming the person you’re talking to knows something when really they don’t; assuming that everyone knows all the same things you do?

Story is Editable

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Surrender, Sex and a Spring in Your Step

The Web-Empowered Warriors of Wisdom (AKA We-Wow) have put together a series of gifts for your mind and body over at Awaken Your Spring.com.

One of the gifts is from Yours Truly, a free report that will teach you the one word guaranteed to improve your sex life and 7 ways to put that word to use immediately.

You’ll also find gifts from Christopher Westra of icreatereality.com, Chris Cade from the Course in Miracles.com and Thea Westra of ForwardSteps.com.

Please enjoy these gifts thoroughly and share them with friends.

Jimi Hendrix, Hippies, Love and Creating Lasting Change on The Sheri and Erin Show

This episode of The Sheri and Erin Show was one day after we watched 2 documentaries on the Bio channel, one about Jimi Hendrix and one about hippies. We discussed how music impacts people and how everything is intertwined.

We are all connected and when one of us is bold enough embrace authenticity and creativity, to break free from “right/wrong” reality, it can impact many people for decades to come.

We discussed the power of love and the value of accepting people for who they are as well as the damage of judging and categorizing groups of people like “hippies”.

The hippie movement left a lasting impact on society at large, even on those who were not hippies. Hippies created a cultural shift in California that can be felt to this day.

We discussed the difference between Truth and illusions. One way we keep illusions alive is by being afraid, feeling guilty and clinging to something we heard or experienced a long time ago. We keep illusions and pain alive by bringing old memories into present day reality.

The idea that you did something “wrong” is what keeps you in bondage. The moment you forgive yourself is the moment you are free. You can choose to be “In Joy” and enjoy your life or you can stay in bondage to the past, it’s all a matter of perception.

Sometimes you have to acknowledge your pain and take steps to heal it. Not all pain and wounds can be washed over by thinking positive. Ultimately we are the only ones who can heal ourselves. Experience is the best teacher. Acceptance is the key to freedom.

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To be galvanized is to be free from fear, strengthened by Life, bold enough to be whole and to have fun doing It.

Creativity, Lady Gaga and Bullies on The Sheri and Erin Show

In this show we discussed how some people cut themselves off from creativity at a young age for a variety of reasons. Sometimes we are distanced from our creativity because of fear of rejection and disapproval or we learn to deny our creativity and authenticity because we have been bullied by others. Erin shares a story about her son and how he uses his imagination during play.

We discussed the role of creativity in innovation and the interview on OWN with Oprah and Lady Gaga. We discussed how our cultural contempt for creativity has damaged many aspects of our lives from family life to government.

We discussed how againstness and “right/wrong reality” create problems on a personal, professional and global level and how bullies suffer just as much as the people they bully. We discussed how sometimes we are our biggest bullies and the bullying we do to ourselves can often end up hurting others when we lash out. We discussed how living in the box mentally keeps you and your loved ones in prison and how to live free by accepting others as they are.

If you can’t see the player below, click here to listen to this episode.

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To be galvanized is to be free from fear, strengthened by Life, bold enough to be whole and to have fun doing It.

Consequences of a Music-Less Life

I’m still curious and confused about the seeming lack of availability and interest in new, emerging, underground music. Maybe I’m a rare case. Maybe music means more to me than most but here’s my story of how a lack of music almost killed me.

In the 80’s I was a teen and a punk rocker. I was basically on my own after the age of 16 so I went to every gig I could, some times going to live shows 2-3 times in one week. Little did I know, this constant barrage of punk and alternative music was shaping my opinions, passions and politics on a deep level. Punk rock actually gave me wings. I admired the dedication and bravery of the musicians I went to see. I realized that I wasn’t the only one who noticed that some things are not right in the world.

I don’t have to tell you, no one wanted to hear what the punkers had to say in the 80’s. Most of the shows I went to had less than 100 people in attendance. When things got too big or too crazy, the cops were always there to break it up and take people off to jail. In some cases the riot squad greeted you as you entered the concert hall, just to let you know who’s in charge. Now, here we are, 25-30 years later seeing the teens of today listening to the music of the 80’s as if its something new and revolutionary.

May I interject here that the punk artists kids are listening to today aren’t just entertainers, some aren’t even technically musicians. Many punkers had no idea how to play their instruments when they first started. Many of them created hand-made fliers and had them photocopied free of charge on someone else’s photocopy machine. Most punks didn’t have contracts or agents. It was sheer grit, determination and persistence that kept the bands that you know about today alive. There are many, many other punk bands, some just as good or better than the ones you know about. The main difference is that some gave up and some didn’t. Punk legends like Mike Ness of Social Distortion exist solely due to determination.

Heres my beef: if the kids of today are listening to the music of 20 years ago, where are they getting the lesson of sheer grit, determination and persistence? Who is going to carry the torch and speak about today’s issues, most of which are the same as the issues of the 80’s, only worse. Why are the youth of today listening to anti-Reagan songs and not anti-Bush songs?

But I digress. I still haven’t explained how lack of music almost killed me. You see, when I was about 18 it was clear that my drug addiction was serious and I needed to do something about it. By the age of 21, I had been in several recovery programs and was beginning a process of wanting to change my life. For me, that meant I had to stay away from the old people and the old places. Gradually I began to slip away from my punk past and tried to be more “socially acceptable.”

The compelling need to “fit in” accelerated drastically when I entered college and eventually University. I found myself completely forgetting all about punk rock and gradually went to fewer and fewer live shows and even stopped listening to most of my records and tapes. I was proud of myself for a while, maybe too proud. I was reaching my goals and moving up in the world. I got a degree, then another degree, then another. In the process, I completely disconnected with my punk past.

I tried to fit in, get the jobs and connections I wanted. I was not connected with punk in anyway. I never had the opportunity to talk to anyone about seeing GBH at the Olympic Auditorium two times in one week or seeing the Ramones every year at the Paladium. I couldn’t listen to punk rock on the job and frankly, I found punk rock to be distracting to me and my goals.

Eventually music even began to annoy me. I was mad at the neighbors when they played it too loud. I saw myself turning into the cranky old drag that I encountered in most adults I met. I began running on auto-pilot. I listened to rap and hip-hop, maybe just because it was there and everyone else was listening. I was becoming noticeably depressed. I was training to be a therapist and sitting in meetings talking about “clients” who have “problems”. All the clients and problems were familiar to me, a part of my past.

I believed that each client I saw had potential to overcome whatever they wanted. I believed they could be whoever they wanted to be. Yet none of the ‘professionals’ agreed. I was shunned, not taken seriously and basically told “you’re just an intern, what do you know?”

On the one hand I was offended by the callous and careless way professionals talked about the people we were supposed to be helping but often I kept my mouth shut. When I did open my mouth, there was always a consequence. I was dismissed from more than one position for having an opinion. I tried to keep my mouth shut. I became more and more depressed. I chastised myself and thought to myself “why cant you just be like everyone else? Why can’t you just fit in and shut up?”

So, there I was, training to be a therapist and for the first time in my life, I found it completely necessary to take anti-depressants. I literally felt like I was going crazy and that was especially disturbing in light of the fact that I was supposed to be helping people!

Ironically, it was when I was “cleansing” my negative past that I found my soul mate and reconnected with music in a new and positive way. My husband, former owner of Zed Records in Long Beach was in the store when I brought in a stack of vinyl to sell. In the process of sorting, scanning and observing my records for their suitable re-sale potential, I sparked up a conversation with the man who would become my husband within about a year. He liked hockey, I liked hockey. He liked punk, I liked punk. We enjoyed each others company. But it would be almost 10 years before I began to realize the significance of our match and the importance of music in drawing us together.

In 1998 I experienced small reminders and nudges of who I was and who I could be but I wrote most of them off as the “idealistic, unrealistic, drug-induced fantasies” of the past. I would hear the nudging call to action in songs by Black Eyed Peas and A Tribe Called Quest but I mostly hid my love of hip-hop because fears like “what will people think, I should grow out of this, I’m just some old person trying to be cool.” Hip Hop and Punk were like guilty indulgences I hid from the ‘professional’ people in my life.

Once I got an iPod, things really began to change. Once I was able to easily carry the soundtrack of my life in my purse, able to listen to the Buzzcocks followed by Snoop Dogg and chased by Social Distortion anytime, anywhere; I began to transform. My dreams re-awakened. Lyrics of power, being yourself and letting go of concern for what others think lifted my soul.

I began to tell people, “I used to be a punk rocker.” I described my spiky blue hair and my shaved head. Some people laughed, some people said “cool”, others were entirely speechless, still others said “no way” as they stood there with their eyes bugged out.

The familiar lyrics and sounds of the underground began to stir something within my soul. I began to remember who I really was. I stopped caring about what everyone thought. I started to think about what I want for my life rather than what society wants for my life. I began to realize the traps I build around myself and how the mainstream society reinforced the validity and ‘rightness’ of those traps. Sometimes I was pissed off. Other times I was shocked. Sometimes I was sad but mostly I was determined. I was determined to revive the 16-year-old punker in me. I was determined to take her out of the closet and say look world, here I am so $*& you!

I could go on and on but mainly I have a deep, nagging fear and this is why I’m writing this long post. If the youth of today have no role models to show them how to be independent, to start their own businesses, to live free of corporate oppression, what on earth does the future hold in store for us? Will it be a rehash and reinforcement of the same old, same old? Will George Orwell’s 1984 be a reality?

Remember, most of the popular anti-depressants, anti-anxiety medications on the market didn’t even exist in the 1980’s and now they are being passed out like candy to many people as a cure-all for the ‘problem of depression’. Rates of depression increase in society and pharmecuetical companies become more powerful. What if the depression is from oppression? If so, all the pills in the world aren’t gonna help.

Listening to music that’s 10, 20 or 30 years old makes about as much sense as reading newspaper articles from 30 years ago and claiming that you are informed and educated. The time is now, with the advent of instant information for all of us to step out of our boxes a bit and look at what’s new while continuing to enjoy what’s old. I think we need to listen to the message under the message.

Punk is more than just a bunch of rebellious, belligerent youth with a lack of classical music training. Punk is a movement and a statement about deciding to be who YOU are not what society determines you should be. Right this moment new music is being created by new people. Some of them will be huge one day, others will fade away but if you’re sitting at home listening to the same stuff your parents listened to, you’re missing out on the real-time experience of history in the making.

(Me and the Black Eyed Peas in 1998. They played at a record store inside Universal Studio Walk, about 30 people were there to see them….if that. Truthfully, most people were there to see Kobe, a well-known soccer player, BEP just happened to be the “opening act.” If you were paying attention to alternative radio (KCRW.com/Chocolate City) you could have been there. I will tell you this: NOBODY except me asked for their autograph and to take a picture with them. I have the Behind the Front album signed by the entire band.)

I’m so grateful that I had all the experiences I had in life and Im grateful for the opportunity to experience first-hand how plain, ordinary (and sometimes downright untalented) people say “I don’t care” and go for it anyway. And guess what, it ends up that it doesn’t matter if someone is good or not. As long as you are clear about who you are and don’t give up, you will make it. That’s the message under the message. Do you hear it?

(This article was originally written in 2006)