People-Pleasing and perfectionism can kill many goals before you even take step one. If you have a long-time dream that you are excited about perfectionism might be what’s hindering accomplishment.
Part of perfectionism is the fear of making mistakes. The other part is giving the feedback and criticism from others far too much power. After years of listening to criticism from others, I became immobilized. Eventually I internalized all the criticism and made it my own. Pretty soon I was talking myself out of my goals. I didn’t even bother to have goals because I was defeated before I took step one.
The perfectionistic voice is critical even if your rough draft has mistakes! It also makes you imagine that others are criticizing you when they aren’t. Perfectionism was so devastating to me that I had to come up with a creative way to get past it. Part of my “cure” was to acknowledge the perfectionistic voice without identifying with it. I gave the perfectionistic voice a name: Puleza. Puleza was a voice in my head but it wasn’t the real me.
Puleza made it hard for me to speak up because I was afraid I would make a mistake and look foolish. I conquered the fear by including Puleza in my public speeches. Every time I did, people would laugh and tell me they had their own Puleza. This helped to take the power away from this cruel, mean voice. I was somewhat ashamed I had allowed this irrational, brutal voice to dominate my life. Yet, as I made fun of this inner-critic and brought it into the light, I experienced freedom.
If you have a Puleza, you’re not alone. Maybe it’s time to bring it to the light and laugh at it so you can achieve your goals and enjoy your life.